People are usually surprised when I tell them I am painfully introverted.
When Matthew and I go out in public and I don't know anyone, that dude will have fingernail marks on his arm because there is no way he is leaving me alone.
Eight years ago there is no WAY I would have believed you if you told me I would be showing up to peoples homes, on stages and online talking publicly and openly to friends, never mind complete strangers.
Each step, each layer of my several years using aromatherapy has changed me in bold ways, I never could have imagined.
I know, I know, that sounds weird, right. I mean, how could a few bottles of oil do that?
Here's the thing.
I lived every single day with crushing anxiety. Day after day with deep, crushing overwhelm.
I believed everyone I came across would see my fear, my frayed and my broken and with moment to moment fragility, I kept myself safe by staying inside...physically and emotionally. Childhood trauma has a weird way of doing that.
Over the days, weeks, months and even years, I've intentionally created new pathways in my brain through essential oils.
Those emotions that were embedded, the ones that told me how to think, feel, react and behave for years were slowly being replaced by new ones through oils like Lavender, which told my brain to remain calm despite the situation in front of me.
Valor that told my brain that, YES YOU CAN do this, even though for years you believed you couldn't.
Frankincense, who schooled my brain on who gets to narrate my story. Nothing calms my racing, overthinking all the things, mind like this oil.
So yep. I'm still that introverted girl.
I still need my little circle of space that only I sit in but the story I tell myself while inside and outside is different.
But I'm that introvert that has learned that vulnerability is bravery.
That I can do the scary things, even if sometimes I need my husband to hold my hand while I do.